Sunday, January 16, 2011

Gingerly Speaking

Some people bake their ginger bread from scratch. Then, take it and transform it into a winter wonderland glistening with candies and sparkling treasures. Others, buy a kit two weeks after Christmas on clearance, 98.897% off to be exact, smear the "icing" on the "cookies", then fight over the "candies" to splat on top before praying that they won't break a tooth. Then they wash it down with sparkling apple cider (only 77.931% off after new Years) ...

In those "other" people's defense. Perhaps they saw the kit on clearance and thought, "Hey, that would be a fun snowy day project, let's get it and wait for the snow to fall! Who cares if the icing is really mortar with a gummy sugar like substance? They won't eat it, it'll just be for fun. Those candies? It doesn't matter that there is probably more petroleum in them than in vaseline; they won't be eating them, just decorating with them!" So, they bought it and tucked it away waiting for the right cozy afternoon to use it.

Then, a Sunday afternoon not too long later their daughter requested cream of wheat for dinner, made with their very own freshly ground wheat berries that were ground by their very own hands. Who knew that it took freshly ground cream of wheat an HOUR to cook?

Let's assume that then, the exhausted Momma that had been up with sick children for a few days before thought, "Hey! I'll let them build that ginger bread house! That'll keep them distracted until the cream of wheat is ready."

So, they all gathered around the kitchen table eager to build. The "icing" glopped out and failed to hold the house up. The walls came tumbling down like a freak winter tornado went through. That exhausted Momma just laughed hysterically almost causing herself to snort as her 9 year old first born jabbed her in the side and said, "Mom! Stop it! It's not funny!"

After reminding said 9 year old of the appropriate way to speak to her mother, that mother opened the tiny gum drops and popped two right into her very own mouth JUST because she was the Momma and she could.

I'd imagine after that the children just allowed their jaws to drop and try to work out in their brains why Momma was eating the craft supplies. What else could the Momma do but tell them all to grab a wall and hold it out so she could give them some glue to hold down the chewy notions.

I'm pretty sure that if that were to ever actually occur, the children would nibble the cookie around the "icing" and throw away all of the "candy" except for the gumdrops, gum balls, and peppermints since they were the only "candies" that actually possessed taste.

1 comment:

Rachel R. said...

You actually eat your gingerbread house? Whodathunkit?

(We - well, my kids, usually with my sister and NOT with me - typically buy the after-Christmas-sale gingerbread house and put it together the following December. But we never eat it! lol)