Monday, April 17, 2006

Today's Lesson

Get paper and pencil and prepare to take notes. You will want to learn from me and not from yourself.

What I learned today:

1. Just because a paint brush looks like it has a wooden handle does NOT mean it is not a plasticy acrylic.

1.a Plasticy acrylic paint brushes melt in the dish washer.

1.c Plasticy acrylic paint brushes that melt in the dish washer STINK HORRIBLY.

2. It is not smart to start making Chicken Fried Rice without making absolutely positively sure that you do indeed have rice.

2.a (This is actually a good thing) My husband absolutely LOVES chicken fried noodle soup. LOL. I took all of the stuff that was supposed to be mixed with the rice and added chicken broth and macaroni. Oh, and my children both can eat three bowls of this soup! [Eek!]

3. It is altogether completely surprisingly possible for a nine teen month old to remove his diaper while dressed in overalls. Don't ask me how.

3.a Naked nineteen month olds say “What? What? What?” and point while poop is sliding down their legs. (The diaper taking off experience and naked pooping were actually two different experiences today.)

4. It is unwise to give a nine teen month old a push up sherbert treat from the ice cream truck.

4.a Said nineteen month old does not know that you can not hold the treat upside down and push.

4.b Said nineteen month old gets very sad when they see their treat plop on the side walk.

What else did I learn today? I'm sure there is more … I just for some reason can't think of anything else.

That 19 month old is now 31 months old.  It is amazing how time flies and how many other wonderful things they teach you.  For instance today he taught me:

1.  I love being awakened to a knee on the belly and a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

2.  31 month olds can find a buttercup buried in an acre of grass.

2.a  Said 31 month old can produce an amazing smile as he picks said buttercup.

3.  Said 31 month old doesn't like thunder.

3.a  Said 31 month old's mother loves getting cuddles and movie watching while said 31 month old hides from the thunder.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Which Tree and Chic Fil A.

Today I hunted for the perfect tree.  Our first spring in our new home and I wanted to plant a tree in Anna's memory on her one year birthday into Heaven.  This wouldn't seem like such a hard task.  However, have you been tree hunting?  There are thousands of beautiful trees.  How does one decide?  It would certainly help to know where the tree was to be planted.  Front, side, back … with other trees, by the drive way? 

The more I pondered which tree to get and where to plant it the more questions arose.  Instead of making a decision I took the kids to Chic Fil A where we had a nice lunch and a great time of fun in the play place. 

Chic Fil A is like a whole nother world.  You walk in and nothing has to be done.  There are no decisions to be made other than sweet tea, lemonade, or Dr. Pepper … which I must admit can be a hard decision, but not one with lasting consequences.   

Today's decision?  Lemonade. 

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

A Year

It's been a whole year.  A year ago right now, I was holding my children close praying that the Lord would allow me to do the same with the baby I was carrying.  It was a year ago that the Lord told me that she was never mine, always meant just for Him.  His words wrapped around me and gave me peace to endure the pain that was to come. 

Within the year so much has happened.  Most importantly our Creator chose to bless us again and,as I type,I cradle in my lap a beautiful five week old arrow of love.  She's absolutely perfect.  I wonder at the feel of her skin, the heaviness of her sleeping body, the sound of her grunting stretches.  My love and amazement for her cannot be explained with mere words.  I am so thankful that God chose to give her to us. 

The pain of never hearing our Anna cry, never having the chance to nurse her is still there, even in the midst for my joy for our Emily.  I think that this is okay.  Isn't it?  It isn't that I'm not thankful.  I'm still allowed to  wish I could have had her too, right?  Am I selfish? 

Am I allowed to think back and remember seeing her tiny lifeless body and wish she would have had more time?  Is it okay to remember my Anna while I cuddle my Emily?